This week silicon valley produced the biggest deal since months. Facebook bought WhatsApp for 19 Billion US Dollar. Because it’s more difficult to buy things using stocks, let’s only talk about the 4 Billion cash. Four Billion - $4,000,000,000. Can you imagine how much money that is? Me either, so have a look at some examples. What can you do with 4 Billion USD?

Research

You might want to do something really big for humanity, or at least something that proves that some of our theories are right. Something like:

  • LHC - maybe the biggest machine on earth which has proven that these Higgs things exist
  • Wendelstein 7-X - to test a modern fusion reactor (don’t try to build an ITER-like reactor, you just don’t want to spend so much money ;) )
  • Human Genome Project - I know, it’s already finished. But in fact, you could imagine how much gene research you can do. For example, you can decode another ape
  • Hubble Space Telescope - You could sponsor the instrument to provide amazing insights to other galaxy and help us to understand the history and future of everything, except everything
  • … - other stuff like super crazy big X-Ray cannons, even more particle colliders, mammoth clones, space travel stuff, we-measure-everything-climate satellites, really needed HIV research, another cancer (research) lab, …

Development Aid

There are kind a bunch of people who need some help, but I guess because they need it for something boring like “surviving” instead of their daily social shitstream, this is not so important. I mean, instead of look-at-this-green-face-photo-filter and annoying-fart-video-autoplay, they need unhip stuff like:

  • Food - to post some photos of it (including even-more-30s-photo-filter)
  • Water - how else should they get rid of this horrible hangover?! By the way, nice naked pictures from last week
  • Education - because nobody understands their status posts
  • Electricity - come on, you know why!
  • … - totally senseless stuff like protecting tasty kids and women, featuring anti-everything-and-corruption journalism, supporting why-the-hell-independence-initiatives, …

Freedom

Buying freedom, hehe, this freaky guy… No, really, as a tech company, you can do a lot:

  • Encrypted, Uncensored Communication - for sharing more cat pictures
  • Live and Free HQ Video Channels - porn everywhere!
  • Anonymization - that would make selling drugs easier man
  • Encrypted File Sharing - finally, free brain-free games for everyone
  • … - nerdy stuff, who-really-needs-devide-encryption, conspiratorial knowledge, terroristic information leaking, …

Neighbors

Never thought about your own country, all that stuff around you while sitting in your Starbucks? Sure, here is why this would be wasting of time:

  • Young People - who really wants the next generation of journalists, researchers, politicians or just damn normal suckers?
  • Culture - you know, that thing that existed before Facebook? Nope, not Myspace!
  • Integration - ahhh, OK, sorry, social networks already doing that. Mmh…
  • Poor and Homeless People - they maybe won’t have a smartphone, or a Facebook account, but… no, they cannot like your I-am-so-fucking-sexy-photos
  • … - apart from it, you might just build a higher wall and buy a nice car with tinted windows…

…

Yep, I guess there are more ideas, but who cares if Facebook can just buy:

You

Finally, here is the thing Facebook bought - no, the did not buy a crappy messenger app which uses technology of the last century. Even when the WhatsApp messenger works hundred times better than this shitty Facebook Messenger piece. (Everyone with a non-always-online-connection knows this.) The did not buy address books, because already got it using their own special methods. They did not even got a good ad selling platform. They’ve just bought the right to read, store and use your messages, your pictures, your loves, your hates, your ideas, your thoughts, your mistakes, your life - they’ve just bought you!


PS: I don’t suggest any development aid organization here. You may want to decide on your own where, who, how and if you want to help.

PPS: If I had a comment system here I would ask you for more ideas. Unfortunately I don’t have one. So you might just answer me on Twitter using @crepererum